8/5/24 we broke up

this is a very sloppy entry, i had a lot of stuff going on in my mind while i was writing this. i'm keeping it as is though. i explain some stuff in here a bit more in the next entry

the breakup

i missed yesterdays entry cause i spent the night debating if i should do what i did just now. i sent her the breakup text. its currently 2:52 am and she's asleep so she'll wake up to me telling her i'm ending our friendship/relationship. she told me right before she weent to bed that she was doing a lot better now mentally and that she was focusing on herself. apparently she also quit cutting herself. it's great

i went out of bed at around 2 am to get some food and listen to music to think things over right after i sent the text

i feel like this is the right thing to do. it was nearly impossible for me to press the send button

there was this one time i went to a deli to get a bacon egg and cheese and ended up talking with a stranger for about 15 minutes. he told me never to half ass shit in life and always to go full ass.. ive been trying to apply it to as many things as possible and it's what i was thinking about right before hitting send

earlier today her girlfriend told me that she was tired and just wanted me to get it over with, so that also pushed me to do it because i promised that it would be over soon. if anything happens in the morning i'll probably write about it tomorrow

ordinary life

i pirated adobe illustrator like how i said in the last entry, and man what an awesome program it is. i've made so much stuff already and working with points instead of pixels is amazing

i asked dan to come over. he said he would be able to come when he finishes work because he usually has stuff to do on the weekends

i dont think i properly introduced you guys to dan... he's trans and he's been my friend for a few months now. we met for the first time in the cafeteria cause he said he liked my guitar pick necklace. i was like omg thank you and a few weeks later i asked him for his instagram and from there we literally sat together in lunch for the entire semester because we didn't have anyone else to talk to. we haven't been able to hang out too much in the new semester but we still talk

i also asked one of my old friends liv to go to the mall with me. we barely talk now lmao but she randomly asked me to go to the mall too like a few months ago after months of us not talking. i have yet to get her response (i texted her at like 12 am)