woke up at 9 cuz i kindaaa wanted to go cycling but deciced naaah when i woke up.. stayed in bed for a bit and joey called me talking about her man. did i ever mention that he's a junior? yeahhhh. i dont remember what she said
i played scr and pressure for most of today. called zee and i talked to her about how she's changed a lot and by the way it seemed it seemed like she didnt gaf and wasn't taking it serious which actually did kind of piss me off and i just hung up and she kept telling me to get back in the call and was sending shit tryna be funny but i just ghosted her. ngl we've been friends for like 7 years now or some shit and idk. shit just feels different man. recently i've had this feeling of like almost crying but not crying.... i got this feeling a lot when i was with polina (so greatful im out of that shit). it ended for a little bit when we broke up but now its back. whenever sylvia says something that indicates that she's not interested in me or whenever zee does stuff like that i get this feeling. i told veronika about it back when we still talked and she told me like "if u cant describe this feeling then we should make a new word for it" and she was like "lets call it ryan cause i've never met someone named ryan who i liked" so im gonna call it the ryan feeling from now on (kind of a vent). speaking of sylvia, we didn't talk at all today. im thinking about being dryer to her but idkkk man. joey said she's gonna be dryer to her man and i'm starting to think i should do that too.. her boy has shown that he's not interested in her at all, and my girl has shown the same. i'm thinking about getting closer to jolin, but i need to talk to her more online. we're pretty close in real life but not really online. it's kind of the opposite of what i have with sylvia right now. idk. i'm thinking ill talk to mr mikulka about something in guitar ensemble and text jolin about it on instagram to start a conversation and we'll go on from there
me and joey called at the end of the day for like 45 minutes and i was helping her with her ixl homework which was english and basically it gave us sentences and we had to click the words that had incorrect capitalization. we spent a HOT minute on it it was actually kinda hard. havent touched ixl since like 7th grade and wasn't planning to until today. after the homework we just talked about our situations with sylvia/jolin and her guy. tbh it seems like she does a lot more talking than me. she tells me about her junior guy so much and i respond energetically to it and it seems like she doesn't even care about my situation. idk. i'll talk to her about sylvia irl tomorrow when we ride the train together and see if she cares at all
also there was a geometry sheet i forgot to do. did it at like 8 pm and my mom was like "why does it seem like ur so behind??" cause i had like a million papers out to use as reference and idk maybe she thought they were all assignments i needed to do
school tomorrow ughghjdshjksdhfsdjfhgdks taking my melatonin at 10:50 GN